[2007 JPDrama] The Eraser In My Head SP - Love that Will Not Become Memories

The Eraser In My Head

Watashi no Atama no Naka no Keshigomu 

• Japanese Title: 私の頭の中の消しゴム
• Viewership rating: 10.6% <---- I honestly don't know why it's this low... it is a great SP....
• Broadcast date: 2007-Mar-13
• Air time: Tuesday 21:30-23:24

Cast:

• Fukada Kyoko as Kono Kana
• Oikawa Mitsuhiro as Seo Ryosuke
• Tanaka Yoshiko as Kono Azusa

Story
An ordinary art college girl, Kana (25) whose dream is to create a drawing book that would bring happiness to thousands met and fell in love with a talented painter/ construction worker, Ryosuke. However, she was diagnosed with (early onset) Alzheimer's (very rare disease in <65 years olds)...



Medical Info
Alzheimer's Disease IS NOT A PART OF NORMAL AGING. It is a irreversible progressive and degenerative neurological disorder (it gets worse and your brain cells will die). It is characterized by memory impairments (memory loss and inability to create new memories with additional cognitive disturbances (unable to control mood, depression). Patients will gradually decline in maintaining daily activities, lose their personalities and change in behaviour. Worldwide, around 5 Million people >65 years old have Alzheimers while there are only around 200,000 people younger than 65 years old with the disease. (reference = my pathophysiology notes from Dr. Klassen in UBC).

My thoughts after watching:
Our memories determines who we are. However, is the value of life or our purpose of life solely based on our memories as an individual? Is a life without future worth living?
There are no correct or right answers to these questions. For me, I used to think I'd rather die than to live without my soul (my personalities, my memories, and my knowledge).
Now, I would say that even when memories could be lost, love remains. A person cannot only live for themselves in this world. My sole existence could be of value to my parents, my siblings, and anyone who loves me.
Kana is not unfortunate, she has a lot of people that loves her. Even though she cannot remember these love she received (love that will not become memories), she is receiving endless love that will not become memories - their love for her will not be the past, they will always love her.
I really recommend this SP drama, it's a 1.5 hours well spent - regurgitate on the meaning/purpose of life; gain the courage from the characters to always have hope and love even when there seems to be no solutions, no ends to suffering; rethink the value of our identity and our sole existence.

Tell me what you think in the comment :)

Fan girling- Kyoko chan <3
I want to write a shorter summary, but I can't... I have too much to say...
I have like 3k screen caps of this 1.5 hr drama... I will only post about 10% of it hahaha (still a lot...)
Kyoko chan is like - unreal in this one

SO pretty, SO cute!!!
She's legit like surpassing angel's level of cuteness and beauty in this.
Every moment, no matter what kinda face she was making - looked perfect--- omg...
For me, I think this is her TOP for both face and acting skills --> although people criticized her acting in this (and almost everything else), but I feel like she's already doing her best = =
It's impossible for her face to not seem fake at times when her face is so overly pretty... people with extremely pretty faces often has this kind of problems (aka Lin Chi-Lin (Taiwanese) , Kim Tae Hee (Korean) ) --> wait, so, people who looks like cyborg or Homunculus my type? hahaha O_O

Kyoko as a girl with incurable disease
I find Kyoko chan perfect in this type of drama, her portrayal of a girl with incurable disease is like...
LEGENDARY - I have to say her acting in here is even better than in Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake- the timing of her tears, the wide range of her expressions- If only she had done more of these type of dramas... (ok, maybe not, or else I'd run out of tears T_T)
AND you'd think she's like too much  in the beginning (kind of like whipped cream, too sweet for some), she will break your heart and make you cry in the end.

Korean Film?
I know, I know, there is a Korean Movie of the same name which originally was inspired by a Jdrama. If you want to watch something that will bring you to sweet heaven then torturous hell - go ahead, watch that one. Japanese dramas has also try to be positive in the worst situation- which in this case, broke my heart. It really makes you feel like this can happen in real life, because everything in this SP was so normal. The way Kana and Ryosuke fall in love, their family's reactions, the events that happened, everything.. It feels like you are watching someone real people... (of course, though, Kyoko chan and Oikawa San are out of this world)

Cast
Kyoko chan have said in multiple occasions that she likes Oikawa san (Mitchy) - who is known to be the "prince-type" ---> but we all know, Kyoko chan almost never goes for those (for real) = =
This SP was produced by Kyoko chan's management company ( Horirpo - wow... powerful...) so, maybe... she made it happen? XD
Oikawa san sang the theme song for her drama, Fugoh Keiji, too So, I think the two are pretty good friends to begin with (knowing Kyoko chan's super long list of friends)
The combo does sound weird, but as we know, Kyoko chan can always create that sweet, loving feeling ~ the two's look don't necessarily match well image wise, however, on screen they are ADORABLE:

Kyoko chan does kinda look way younger though hahahaha :P

Still, I can't help thinking what if, they asked Takizawa Hideaki to be Ryosuke - My favourite couple would be in these painting-like scenes *dies* AND it may help a lot with the rating (viewership , because they are such a nice/ famous combi) -- it wouldn't have been that hard since Kyoko chan just filmed a summer SP (Kimi ga Kureta Natsu) with him a few months before this...Maybe Horipro just couldn't pull it off, or Kyoko chan just didn't like Takki as much as Mitchy ~?
Another high light is Kana's mother-  Tanaka san is acting with Kyoko again since Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake
This time, Kana's relationship with her mother is much better (normal) T_T
I'm so sad though, Tanaka San passed away in 2011 so they will never be able to do another drama together again... Kyoko chan was also very sad...
Seriously tho, every time Kyoko chan has serious disease, she's there O_O This combo is dangerous...
Their mother daughter dynamic wasn't shown too much in this film (mom has more screen time with dad). Which I thought was a waste, because that's something that I'd definitely cry A LOT for
But I think her mother had shown enough love for the daughter and their interactions are very normal- just like what I would have with my mom...

10 Years ago : (in Kami sama... and privately off screen) Kyoko chan said that Tanaka san held her hand when she had fear about acting in such a major role in a major drama. She said Tanaka san is a very warm person just like her warm hands... DAW... T_T

Prepare tissue papers
This drama hit me really hard. I didn't feel like it was very exciting or stimulating until certain places where it was so real, it hurts my heart. In the end, it just breaks my heart altogether = =
I was legit like crying out loud (at the same time laughing at myself for crying for a drama which I knew I'd cry for and still watched). - I went to my sister, she probably thinks I'm nuts...

Full Story (I strongly recommend you to watch the drama before you continue- I basically talked about everything XD)
 The main character Kana is an art student in some sort of university - who ALWAYS forgets to bring her eraser... That sounds like me O_O" Except I always forgets to bring my whole pencil case or even backpack ...I might need to go get checked up, don't I...

She has a great classmate who always lent her an eraser LOL - that's like me when I was in elementary when we used these kind of erasers!!!

I freakin' LOVE this jacket, and Kyoko chan looked totally awesome in this - She was really at her prime that year- no doubt. AND I love her shoes (Converse looking shoes, I'm not sure if they are Converse though)

An artist will recognize another artists' work and admire it - normal people like me would nod and just walk away :P

Kana's mom is so cute <3 (and she kinda acts like my mom, except my mom didn't have to be drunk to be this goofy hahaha).

Tada ima~

I do this often it's like I know what I was gonna say, but then I can't remember what I was gonna say...
then DING~ I remembered :D Kyoko chan is just too cute- she doesn't even have to try ~

I love this jacket, seriously, where can I get it?!

Never remembers doctor's appointment, just like me...

HAHAHA had to post this, too funny XD her shocked face contrasting with Mitchy's cool face ;P

Honestly, I don't think she's trying to be cute... rather, when she is mad- but not really angry, she does react like this. BUT she looks so adorable when she's mad - it's annoying Q_Q I think she's too cute!!!

Gotta say, this dog actor is SO GOOD. I mean SO FREAKING GOOD. He's cute, he does the right things, he does the right face, OMFG!!!

Kyoko chan walking the dog~
She doesn't need to wear anything special to look adorable - can you imagine how much this exact same top would make me look like an Obasan (old auntie)?!

Without this dog, we will have no love story ;) 

I just had to show her face - I mean is there a moment where I can like say her face is ugly in this drama? *shakes head*

Moe~~

After the dog, mom came to help hahaha- is this like a mission game or something?

Moms, always bringing food and doing things we don't want them to do hahaha oh, geez, my mother, too totally got food for my bf during church at lunch time (he was totally shocked :P)

When she's talking about her dream her eyes expressions all lights up and her eyes kira kira (shiny shiny) ☆

Happy face with shyness >///<

AH!

"I want to help, please let me help you" - this is what I would say to people who can't figure out how to use computer (like my mother) - it takes them forever to figure out how to install a plug in in chrome or just using google map...

OUH~~~ Ryosuke ~ you are pretty good at making girls doki doki, aren't you?
I love kyoko chan's expression here, that look of being falling in love and being shy and trying to hide it

This one reminds me of Minami's Koibito (in 2004)

I know she's wearing quite a bit of make up, but she really didn't seem like she was aging even though she had so much work lined up ever since she started her career (she never rested for more than a few weeks, it seems)

This one reminds me of Remote (2002)

The only way you can tell she's getting older is by that line underneath her cheek bones. I honestly love her the way she is and totally wouldn't mind seeing her aging naturally...
I feel like just by watching her smile, I can forget everything that's bothering me at this moment (which I probably should NOT forget, because it's a final exam HAHAHA).

Date Date~! When the siblings are fighting, their faces are always funny - this is like the same way for all siblings who are in good relationships.

I also love this jacket.

Lol, of course, when you're hungry, your stomach will always make such a loud noise ;) - Japanese dramas, tsk tsk.

Oishii~~ 

Isn't this always the case, you found that you've actually stuffed something in the wrong place then you find it by accident.

hmm, I didn't pay attention to the watch, I wonder why, I love watches ;O

Have I mentioned? I love how her teeth naturally is - her extremely nice upper teeth ( that is a little too big in size) and her messy lower teeth. Gives her that cuteness when she does this (and talks)

LOL Mitchy was so cute when Ryosuke got cuteness overloaded by Kana (Kyoko chan)

I just LOVE her smile...

Aw.... <3

Green Restaurant uniform - she does look weird without her bangs :P These two are too sweet <3

Aw~ Mitchy so cute :D

Don't know why... orange and green seems to be a really popular combo of color. The hoody I have on now is green on the outside orange on the inside of the hood ... like why?! (my mom bought it).

Diagnosis= Early Onset Alzheimer's ... Mother is in denial, the father wanted to determine treatment options.

It realistically reflected how patients reacts to such horrifying news...(I think the Dr. was casted WRONGLY, he looks like he's smiling all the time = = I hate it.) 

It is just too sad for parents to go through this. All they probably want is for the child to be healthy and happy. :(

It's already difficult for children to go through Alzheimer's with their parents forgetting who they are...now it's like your mother and father has to take care of you forever and you will not be able to repay them... oh GOD. I think I'm tearing up again...

When mom hands me medicine, I think I make these faces, too :P Then mom will go on and say how it's good for me blah blah blah. Well, now it's the other way around. I'm a pharmacist, they listen to me when it comes to meds Muhahaha :D

It's important for Japanese women (who are becoming housewives) to know how to cook - if my bf questions my ability to cook - all I would say is- then cook for me :D hahaha

It is usually the girls asking the guys to see her parents first, right? well... not in my case O_O. I was the one that got scared lol.

The proposal came quick enough (well, there's not much time). I wish they had made the dates more memorable and sweet though... these two's chemistry's good so it's passable, but this is a drama, could use more dramatic elements.

Kyoko chan is cute to a degree that she REALLY looks like a doll / cyborg - just too pretty. She really is God's art. When she smiles or laughs though, her liveliness gives off this irresistible charm. That's why I think her movies /videos/ actual person is way more attractive than looking at her pictures.

Apparently Nodame (Ueno Juri) also wore this exact same dress. Some Taiwanese blogger said Juri wore it better, but I like it on Kyoko chan better- can't really say why...probably cuz if I had wore it , my arms would look more like how Kyoko chan's arms look like?
 (I love Juri, too, she was my favourite throughout highschool, even before I liked Kyoko chan).

Ryosuke wants to be by her side no matter what - like that wedding vow/ wedding rite says : "I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life"

Kyoko chan's hand was SO PRETTY (it got unbelievably old though, recently, I wish her body lipids would move there instead of her upper arm :P )

Now she looks like a Barbie

Sorry man, you look way older than her...I mean, yeah, you're like 13 years older, but then... ah, well :P good looking , though , anyhow.

Hahaha- if you want to see the actual kiss, go see the drama!
The dog is just too adorable.

These two laughs the same way! But somehow, I don't think they look that natural in this picture- I must be bad at this :P

I am surprised no one asked her to do shampoo commercial

"What purpose is there for me to live if I will no longer be myself.?"
"I will lose my purpose of life if I lose you"
God, I suck at translation, but this is what they are saying - I know it sounds cheesy, but then it's totally heart breaking T_T

No matter how hard she cries, she always look so cute... it's really bad for her as an actress though ... *sigh*

Bracelet of love <3

Ah~ the sweetness, when you give a gift, don't ask for return~~~ *runs around in circle*

They are too cute, I swear! this scene looks like a painting, a freakin' painting!

Menard~ CM shoot?!
Stand by; 3, 2, 1, Queue!

I've watched too many dramas that would draw this type of sketch ...

Kana's speed of deterioration is incredibly fast - maybe because there are multiple time skips in the story...

I still remember, but you have forgotten...

Everything is now marked to help Kana remember - I remember seeing this in 500 first dates. There are so many cute pictures that I really want a copy of >"<

Sun downing syndrome- as the night approaches, many Alzheimer's patient would rapidly deteriorates, becomes confused, and this confusion induced fear in them, which their protective mechanism could turn this fear into aggression...

Ones the patient is lucid again, they could fall into depression

Kana is now losing her normal functions - she has decreased cognitive function (visibly by her not really doing anything just staring into the space). She also lost the ability to form new memories, not only is she not able to remember the answers to questions she just asked, she is confusing Ryosuke as her father (she has lost memories of both of their faces).

The cruelty of this disease is when Kana again becomes lucid, she soon realized her condition had made her a burden to Ryosuke, which she refuses to be- so she made the decision to be admitted into a nursing home.

Kyoko chan's crying scene here is heartbreaking... I couldn't stop my tears...

Every time she says "sorry" I feel like someone stabbed me real hard in my heart.

The ending of her letter to Ryosuke made me cried my eyes out... I just couldn't hold it... I knew she'd say this, but I couldn't... it was heartbreaking to see them suffer like this

As Bday present, Ryosuke brought her what she had wanted the most.

However, she is no longer able to function -
 advanced stage: patient is in bed most of the time, can't recognize anyone (including herself), can't communicate, infections, difficulty swallowing (thus causes weight loss), groaning, moaning or grunting (She could still speak basic phrase), increased sleeping (she did take a nap ish), lack of bowel and bladder control (there is no way they'd show that...)

Wind has a very special purpose in this drama in multiple scenes

Kana's birthday gift

lol this doesn't really look as good as Kyoko chan - but I guess she's even prettier than paintings and drawings (she is like a girl who walked right out of some beautiful shojo manga (girls comics in Japan) - so we'll forgive this drawer).

The background music here becomes quite lively ( I don't know why = = but maybe they're trying to give hope?) Kyoko chan is truly a doll right here XD

This scene made me CRIED SO FREAKING HARD!!! So many feelings and emotions just rushed to my chest and I couldn't stop crying I was like WAHHHHH T_T.
This is the moment you see Ryosuke's never ending unconditional love for kana
AND Kana receiving that without understanding it even then using all the strength and efforts she has to try to requite that love.

The slight facial expression change here from Kyoko chan really breaks my heart .... I just can't (shoot, I think I'm gonna cry now, again... NOOO)

Well, that was a long post.

I think this is my favourite Kyoko drama of ALL TIME now.

But I am too scared to watch it again because I will keep crying every time (I am weak to these things...)

I really, sincerely hope that in the near future, we will have preventative and curative measures for Alzheimer's disease. There are a few therapeutic agents that could potentially help with the pathogenesis (neurofibrillary tangles and amyloid plaques formations), but nothing really shows much promise from what I've learned...

At least now I have motivation to study for pathophysiology final exam tomorrow :P

Let's live our lives without regrets and love everyone around us <3

Sore Ja~

ttyl

Bye Bye ~★